THE SILENCE WEAPON: Why I stopped arguing with people who are never going to get it

Wednesday. 9:47 PM.

Standing by the window. Black suit still on from a brand call earlier. Tie loosened but not off yet.

City lights spread out below. Everything's still moving even though most people clocked out hours ago.

Aj's on the sofa behind me. Gallery Dept jeans, Fear of God hoodie. Scrolling through his phone, occasionally laughing at something.

My phone buzzes. Message from someone I used to know from school.

"Saw your page. You're really making money from this? Seems like a scam tbh. When are you getting a real job?"

I read it. Didn't respond. Put the phone face down.

Aj noticed. "Who's that?"

"Nobody."

"You're not gonna reply?"

"No."

He looked at me. "Why not? You could just explain what you do."

"I could. But I won't."

THE OBSERVATION:

Two months ago, I would've typed out a whole fucking essay.

Explained the business model. Broke down the revenue streams. Showed proof. Justified why this is legitimate work.

But here's what I've learned: You can't argue someone into understanding something they're not ready to see.

Most people who question what you're doing aren't actually asking questions.

They're making statements disguised as questions.

"When are you getting a real job?" isn't curiosity. It's judgment.

"Seems like a scam" isn't skepticism. It's dismissal.

And the moment you start explaining yourself to people like that, you've already lost the frame.

THE PATTERN:

Someone who's stuck will see you moving and instead of asking how, they'll question why.

They don't want to learn. They want to justify staying where they are.

Because if what you're doing is legitimate, then their excuses become visible.

If a 20-year-old can make four to five figures monthly from faceless content, then what's stopping them?

That's uncomfortable. So they dismiss it. Call it luck. Call it a scam. Call it unsustainable.

Anything to avoid confronting the fact that they could probably do something similar but choose not to.

Here's what I used to do:

Engage. Explain. Prove. Justify.

And you know what happened? Nothing.

They'd nod. Say "fair enough." Then go right back to thinking it's not real work.

Because they weren't asking to understand. They were asking to confirm what they already believed.

THE MECHANISM:

Here's what actually happens when you argue with people who aren't ready:

You waste energy that could've gone into building.

You lower your frame. The moment you're justifying yourself, you're operating from their reality.

You validate their doubt. If you need to prove it works, maybe it doesn't. That's what they hear.

I know someone—runs a digital product business, makes about £8K monthly selling Notion templates.

His family still asks when he's getting a "proper job."

He used to show them the Stripe dashboard. Walk them through the business model.

They'd look at the numbers, nod, then a week later ask again: "But when are you applying for graduate schemes?"

Eventually he stopped explaining.

Now when they ask, he just says: "I'm good where I am."

No justification. No proof. No argument.

And they stopped asking. Not because they suddenly understood. Because he stopped giving them an opening to question it.

Silence closed the loop.

THE SHIFT:

Three weeks ago, I made a rule: I don't explain myself to people who aren't genuinely asking.

If someone's curious, actually wants to learn, asks specific questions—I'll spend an hour breaking it down.

But if someone's just projecting their own limitations? Silence.

Not passive-aggressive silence. Just: "I appreciate your concern" and move on.

Here's what happened:

The questions stopped. People realized they weren't going to get a reaction and lost interest.

My energy increased. I stopped spending mental bandwidth defending decisions to people who were never going to support them anyway.

My frame strengthened. When you stop justifying, you stop operating like you need permission.

THE EXAMPLE:

I know a guy—freelance video editor. Makes about £6K monthly working with content creators and small brands.

His mates from university all went corporate. Consulting, finance, tech. Good salaries. Stable careers.

They constantly make comments:

"Must be nice working from home all day."

"What happens when the clients dry up though?"

For six months, he'd defend himself. Explain his client retention rate. Show them his calendar. Break down his income stability.

They'd listen, nod, then repeat the same doubts next time.

He realized: they weren't questioning his business. They were questioning their own choices.

Eventually, he changed his approach.

Now when they make comments, he just says: "Yeah, it's working for me" and changes the subject.

No elaboration. No proof. No argument.

And here's what's wild: two of them started asking genuine questions privately.

"Actually, how did you get your first clients?"

"What platforms do you use?"

The silence filtered out the noise and left space for the people who were actually ready to listen.

THE APPLICATION:

This week, notice how many times you're explaining yourself to people who aren't genuinely asking.

Family who questions your choices. Friends who make passive comments. Acquaintances who "just don't get it."

Stop engaging. Not rudely. Just: acknowledge and redirect.

Replace: "Actually, let me explain how this works..." With: "I appreciate your concern. It's working for me."

Replace: "Let me show you the numbers..." With: "I hear you. I'm good though."

This isn't about being closed off. It's about protecting your energy for the people who are actually ready to receive it.

The ones who get it won't need convincing.

The ones who don't get it won't be convinced.

Your job isn't to convert the second group. It's to build in silence until the results speak louder than any argument.

The Paper Guide walks you through identifying which variables you actually control versus which ones are just noise. Including which voices to listen to and which ones to silence. Stop explaining. Start building. Download it here:

Excuses don't build empires.

Silence does.

—Tai

P.S.

Aj asked why I didn't respond to that message.

Told him: "Because he's not asking to learn. He's asking to feel better about not trying."

Aj thought about it. "That's cold."

"It's accurate."

He nodded. Went back to his phone.

Ten minutes later: "I think I do that sometimes too. Ask questions that aren't really questions."

First time he's admitted something like that.

Didn't respond. Just nodded.

Sometimes silence is the answer even when you're talking to yourself.